As a mom, how do you deal with it when the big child suddenly prefers dad?! This is Mama Caro's report. She is a mother of two daughters, one and a half and three weeks old.
I'm sitting at the table with my big one and want to start lunch with her while dad carries the little baby around to give me some quality time. Suddenly her eyes fill with big crocodile tears, her lower lip trembles and she says "Papa dear!".
Phew, how do I deal with this?!
Very "cool" at first with the words: "Of course, you can also eat with dad, no problem."
I kiss her on the forehead and swap kids with my husband.
In the evening I notice the big lump in my throat and ask myself why I feel this way and then I have the tearful face of my big one in mind.
She looks for support and security in the daily structure - that's how it is - but she doesn't look for it in me.
After 1.5 years, I am no longer the solution to all worries and questions, it is my husband. I'm happy for him and grateful that she found a way to deal with the changed family structure...
But why does this hurt me so much?
Is our bond less tight than before her little sister was born? Then I look down into my arms and I see this 3 week old baby who needs me, is totally dependent on me and can't be without me for 10 minutes and I'm feeling guilty… Why is there so much space filled with sadness around the older child, wishing so much to have my thoughts on that little angel in my arms...and just wishing to feel love.
My husband is a hero to all of us right now. Is it okay to feel jealous?
I realize I'm looking at him and his relationship with our daughter because it hurts me too much right now what I'm seeing when I'm all to myself.