Hooray, the baby is here! And with it the dear postpartum visit. Everyone is happy, everyone wants to see the baby and take pictures with him. And everyone has an opinion on what's best for baby.
Here is a selection of bullshit bingo phrases you may encounter as a new mom:
10. What time do you get out of the hospital tomorrow? I happen to be in the area tomorrow and have time to visit and see the baby.
09. You, I just happen to be standing in front of your door. can i come up
08. Do you ever put the baby down or do you really carry it all the time?!
07. Don't spoil the child! That'll be spoiled soon!
06. With the second/third child: Now the pampering starts again!
05. Oh, you sleep in the family bed?! The kids need to learn how to get along on their own!
04. You gotta take care of the older sibling, you know?!
03. You've been home with the baby for a week now! When are you coming to visit me with him?!
02. Hello baby! Open your eyes! Hello, wake up! Now open your eyes! I want to take a selfie with you!
01. At home during a postpartum visit: But cleaning could also be done here. Is there still coffee?