Hooray, we're pregnant! Oh my god, really?! As desired! And so unreal! Can it really be? Oh god, my life is about to change completely! How is it all?!
The first few weeks of pregnancy are a total roller coaster ride of emotions: even the most planned child gets mixed up - regardless of whether it is the first, second, third or seventh.
Suddenly EVERYTHING changes, especially for mom: the body, the hormones, the psyche, life, the plans, everything.
From overjoyed and exuberant to lying awake at night fearful: what if I lose it? what if it stays Everything falters. Your child is growing and so are you.
And the most blatant thing: Especially in the first trimester, which sweeps through your life like a hurricane and after which you are already a completely new person, you act in front of most people as if it were: üüüü nothing at all.
Are you sick for three months in a row, you feel exhausted, you suddenly go to bed at 7 p.m. and spontaneously cancel appointments? Just a little upset stomach, too little sleep, too much work…. No thanks, no alcohol, otherwise I'll throw up again... boo!
Of course YOU decide when you tell whom. But you think carefully about WHO you tell it now. And that's when the big relationship test begins.
I know friends who first called their mum and let them know, even before their partner. Personally, we only told our immediate family after the three months – in case something happens and the little subtenant who is trying to live there decides otherwise.
That's what the three months are for, all or nothing. When the baby is truly safe and the risk of miscarriage decreases from the second trimester, that's the best time for most people to share the good news. Otherwise my mother-in-law wouldn't have slept at all at night.
It is best to have already had the nuchal fold measurement and, if necessary, the fetal test to confirm right away that the child is healthy and, if you want, to know what sex it is - and these examinations take place from the second child onwards trimester instead.
Before that, I confided in one or two friends who I knew: They are happy for me, they listen to me, they encourage me, I can always turn to them when the head merry-go-round starts. They are moms themselves at best and know all these feelings.
With them I can leave all my worries, be myself, and they don't judge me. They are there for me and their answers on Whatsapp are not long in coming, especially when I'm feeling bad. I can rely on you. They can also keep big secrets like this easy, they are secretive and loyal.
These are best friends.
Who have I not told intuitively during this sensitive time?
Girlfriends I had the feeling they weren't really happy for me. I unsettle them myself with my message, and they in turn only unsettle me even more in this phase.
For example, with sayings like: "Well, that wouldn't be for ME, I can't close my eyes at night! And all the consequences, phew… have you thought about that?!”
I can only let such sentences roll off me when I am settled in my new role, when I have recalibrated myself and when I have fully accepted my new identity and am at peace with myself.
Who else haven't I told: girlfriends who would gossip about it and not only disregard my desire for discretion, but would also judge it like I was a freak. I had that with my first pregnancy, and this long-standing friendship ended when the child was born.